Waiting. The story of your life.

Today's Topic: Waiting


Do you ever sit and wonder what your life would be like if everything fell perfectly in to sync, just the way you wanted it to, 100% of the time? Life without boundaries or hurdles, no more lines or what seems like frozen time. You would be in complete control of your life, but, unfortunately, you're not and you never will be...and that sucks.

Perhaps it's the idea of waiting that drives us absolutely insane. Some call it fate, others call in randomness or coincidence. The only certainty in this world is that every time we wait, that leads us into a routine or some next phase of our day, unravelling our existence one passing minute at a time. I read an article in Maclean's magazine the other day about how much time the average commuter spends waiting in traffic. In Toronto alone, the average commuter spends an hour or more sitting in traffic, to and from work. That's 60 minutes a day. 60 minutes less to eat, sleep, be active, walk your dog, spend time with someone, read, watch television, have a beer...the list goes on. Now average that over a week. Over a month. And when averaged over a year, that is almost a month of a year spent waiting. In traffic. Absolutely staggering and mildly depressing. As much as I miss the city that I feel transformed me into the cultured individual I am today, that is one statistic I am happy not to be a part of.

If you added up all the time you wait over your lifetime, we are talking years of your life that are spent waiting for something to happen. You wake up, hopefully not having to wait to use the bathroom, hoping not to wait to use the toaster or oven or on those really cold winter mornings, waiting for your car to warm up. If you drive, you're waiting your turn at a stop sign, a traffic light, a pedestrian crossing or on some occasions, construction signs, school crossing guards or other vehicles on the road. How many times have you gotten into an accident or ran over something on the road, and you count up the seconds leading up to that moment and how things had to fall perfectly into place for that event to take place? Or was it the opposite; when you stopped only inches away from an accident, barely missing that person on the bike or running the light when it's yellow. If you don't drive, you're waiting for the bus, the train, the airplane, the subway or the crosswalk. The stops people make, the time they take to get on or off the bus, and then the factors that make them wait. For all those people who get Tim Hortons or breakfast or lunch from a restaurant, think of the minutes you wait in line, the time that ticks by while you wait to be "processed" from the other person on the till. Waiting for the debit machine to say "approved," waiting for the elevator door to close, waiting for a cab, waiting for a friend (who by the way always apologizes for MAKING you wait), waiting in a line to get into the club, wait for drink service and the classics of all waiting, the mother load of all manners; waiting for your turn. Yes we wait, and then wait some more. And after that, we wait. And while we wait, we are waiting to wait. Then there's the methods of "passing the time" as you wait; check your phone, people watch, read, listen to music or just twiddle your thumbs (literally). Do you notice how we always say, "Sorry I'm late." It's rarely "Oh, I was just late on purpose." Are we actually sorry that we are late and had to make someone late or exhausted? Do we really care or are we just programmed to say, "Sorry I'm late." That's a tough one, right?

Imagine again, after reading about just some of the ways that we wait, if everything just went your way and how time would move if we never ever waited. For anything. Those years that seem to fly by, the time that we never get back. The time that we waste every day on waiting for something to happen. Wouldn't it be incredible at the end of our life while we are waiting to die or when we do die, we would get all of the wait time that we have "banked" over the years and then have complete access to that extra time to do whatever we wanted WITHOUT having to wait? Pretty unique concept I know.

Waiting is a part of life, I get that. Maybe I'm just stating the obvious, but doesn't waiting suck? It sucks to wait. Yes, waiting controls our lives, simultaneously everyday to the hope that one day in which we exist in time, we live for the hope and dream that we don't have to wait. That everywhere we go, we could flash our VIP card and zoom through feeling like an important sort of person. I think at some point, one has to ask themselves if we, as a human race, could be a better living, better functioning society if we didn't have to sit around and wait for everything in our life. If instant recognition was possible, would the process still be enjoyable?

I think about all the things living and dead, and I look at lifespans of various things on our earth and our earth alone. There are so many things that we just won't outlive but there are things that we outlive everyday. The fly we just killed, the ant we squashed; superior to both. However, that oak tree that has been on that corner or in that forest for hundreds of years or that house, that museum or that lasting legacy of a piece of furniture or object from history; it has waited for a much longer period of time on this planet, but waiting for what?

What is it in life, in our existence, that we are waiting for? And if no one or no one thing is ever perfect, why do we wait? What are we waiting for? Is there something better? What is the answer? If you're going to realize one thing, realize this. There are so many things that we will never experience and it's all because we have to wait. As much as you may think you control your life and how it happens, we wait for life to happen. Every, single, day. Our patterns and routines are part of large scale sequence of a life clock somewhere that determines our existence. Our start and our end. We sing about waiting for the world to change, waiting on the wonderful, waiting for a loved one or just simply waiting to be loved. Is it hope that drives us to wait? Or is it fate?

In all aspects, we wait for a reason and a purpose. And while you sit there and wait, it just depends on who crosses the finish line first. Or last. However you look at it. Think of everyday as a race you are running. When you finally get to the end, then what? I hope you look forward to waiting tomorrow and then after that, waiting the next day. It's inevitable and unavoidable.

Choosing to Choose

Today's Topic: Choices

I want to take an opportunity to point something out. If you are reading this right now, you are functioning as a human. You have made a choice, for whatever reason, to visit the Sitdown page, probably while sitting down. Let me also say that you have made a good choice by deciding to read this week's post. But since you have chosen to sit down, chose to read, chose to go on the computer or phone in the first place, chosen to come to this site, you have made several choices in the last few minutes. Amazing, huh?

We all have the power to choose to be a success or a failure. They say (and more recently I have said quite a bit) that life is defined by moments. I have more so discovered that life is defined by choices. Every day, we make hundreds of choices. You have your general choices; what to eat, what to wear, what to do and where to go. Our brains function in a pattern of repetitive choices and we get so caught up in making choices all the time that we sometimes forget why we do the things we do. What makes us want a hamburger? Or a salad? How do we decide between the two? People will say "you just know". Hmmm, you sure about that? I'm really going to try to look deeper into this.

The human brain is an amazing thing, there is no doubt. A miracle that we can walk, and talk, laugh, make people laugh, and be laughed at. All choices. We get in our cars and drive, we need to close the door, turn on the AC or heat, roll down the windows or leave them up. Step on the gas or the brakes. Run the yellow light? Look at that hottie running. Shit, I need gas. This song is awesome. Turn up the volume. ALL MORE CHOICES. How do we do all this and not work our brain into overdrive? It's no wonder why we spend almost half of our life sleeping. It's no wonder we all die. We all just become exhausted! We do this same routine, every single day without fail because we have decided this is how we live.

Think about that concept for a second. You are a living specimen on this earth. A walking, talking, eating, choice maker that drinks, laughs, cries, plays, and drives. I think about how many choices we make even when we do something. Go to Starbucks, what coffee do I get, how do I order it, how much is it, what do I pay with, where do I stand to wait, how long will it take to get it. I absolutely realize we can't possibly think about every single choice we make. But one choice affects another. While I have sat here writing this, I've already thought about sex, how I'm hungry, what movie I should watch after this, and how many people will read this.

How do we know how to think? How do we decide? How?

Last night, I chose to drink alcohol. A lot of alcohol. I decided that I needed to let loose, finally just give in and make the choice to party hard. This is something I've done many times before and we have all done that at least once in our life. And if you haven't, honestly, get with it. Not because you need to party and get silly, not because it's the cool thing to do but because it's a part of life. And you have to, and I mean this, HAVE TO try new things. A club, a food, a mall, a trip, a pet, a new friend, a job. Get out and get with it.

I remember the first time I saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and I remember first of all thinking, what a great choice I had made to watch this movie. There's a part in the movie when Brad Pitt says it's never too late to be who want to be and do what you want to do. Without regret. I thought to myself....yes. It's that simple. I want to make great choices in my life and be happy at what I'm doing. I don't want to limit my choices. Ever. Even when I'm sick or even when I'm old. The most rewarding thing about life is that we all get the power to choose. My thanks go out to whoever created human existence. Why be mean? Why not choose to be happy? Why not choose to let loose? Why not choose to be nice to at least one person a day.

My parents bought me a picture that hangs up in my house. I call it the life tree picture and it describes, in the simplest of terms, how to live life. And every time I look at it, I think about the meanings in what it says and how to CHOOSE. Choosing to make a handshake mean more then a pen and paper and choosing to count your blessings and thank the powers that be. To look at what you have instead of what you don't have. To smile and to search for you purpose as best as you can. Awesome stuff.

The greatest documentary I have seen in awhile was called Lucky, a story about people who became overnight millionaires from playing the lottery. I thought about all the choices they would have had to make and all of the things that would have had to have gone perfectly, in a ideal scripted sort of way, in order for them to hit it big. The time they got the ticket, the people they passed gripping the same hope in a piece of paper with numbers, the store they went to and the complete RANDOMNESS of it all. The odds stacked against them and for some, choosing the numbers to play. And them comes the choice of what to do with all that money once you have it. Wow. Just wow.

Choosing to choose is the greatest gift of all. In some way, shape or form, I am absolutely floored with how the brain works and how we decide. It really just depends on like...so, many, things. Choices occur every second. Everywhere. What choice will you make next? Will it be a good one? Or a bad one? What will that choice lead to? How will your script go? I can tell you that this writer is amazed and baffled by it all. Thinking about choices has made me think twice about the choices I make everyday. Deeper thought processes that ignite conversation; it really is what life is all about.

The Charlie Sheen Effect

Today's Topic: Two Epic Meltdowns

I remember when I watched a shaggy, out of work, bearded fellow on David Letterman a few years back who appeared to have completely lost his mind. The entire gullible audience bought it. Joaquin Phoenix had slipped into insanity. What was this all about? It couldn't be a prank, could it? He played it so well, it seemed so real. No one thought that it could be possible, to act this strange out of no where. It's what he wanted you to think. Somewhere under that beard and those dark shades, Joaquin was smiling a "gotcha" grin. He Charlie Sheened the audience.

Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck simply did it for kicks to make a mockumentary movie about the whole celebrity meltdown phenonmenon. There is a speech in the movie unoffcially titled the Mountain Top Water Speech which Affleck wrote and Edward James Olmos performed. Below is the excerpt of the speech:

"That's you, drops of water and you're on top of the mountain of success. But one day you start sliding down the mountain and you think wait a minute; I'm a mountain top water drop. I don't belong in this valley, this river, this low dark ocean with all these drops of water. And you're confused. Then one day, it gets hot and you slowly evaporate into air, way up, higher than any mountain top, all the way to the heavens. Then you understand that it was at your lowest that you were closest to God. Life's a journey that goes round and round and the end is closest to the beginning. So if it's change you need, relish the journey."

Fancy metaphors really draw this picture of a sort of inmortality, as if celebrities are a different kind of lifeform in general or a seperate identity from people in groups. I have been able to draw many similarities in this speech to what Charlie Sheen is putting us through right now. He's a celebrity who rose to fame and became the highest paid per show actor in television history. And now he has arguably become the most highly paid actor turned lunatic in history.

Clearly like the mountain top water drop metaphor says, Sheen needs a change and he is in fact relishing the journey he is on. In present day, we now gaze at the former star of two and half men and listen to his rants on YouTube entitled "Sheen's Korner." It's this sort of drug we have become addicted to. A case of the Sheens if you will. The recent rantings about winning and tiger blood are arguably part of a larger issue on the table. But is it insanity? Or is it genius? I'd like to think that the years of substance abuse have finally caught up with the star and like all stars, something goes of in their head where they just snap. And luckily (or unluckily) for the TMZ society we live in today, everyone is there to capture the latest breaking updates.

As for Sheen? Call it a project if you will. Capture an audience by sitting down with 60 minutes, calling in to Howard Stern, making videos on YouTube that seem to exceed high intellect levels, proposing that the audience must first believe that everyone else on this earth is the enemy. Then comes the merchandise. The coffee mugs people take into work, the t-shirts that you wear on the streets, showing off your Sheen pride, the facebook updates, the profile picture changes, the twitter updates...it takes the world by storm. When he finally tipped over the boiling pot, Sheen ripped through social networks like an F5 tornado ripping through a path to ultimate destruction. The fact that you can completely lose your mind, do drugs, party like a rockstar, make ridiculous videos, and then go on a world tour and sell tickets to a show where people can witness your meltdown live...it absolutely blows me away. Bravo Mr. Sheen. Bravo indeed. You did what few celebrities dare to ever do; have a public meltdown and get rich off it. I have to hand it to the man; he knows what people want and what they want to hear.

As some point, I think we need to ask ourselves if we can be held partly responsible for the ripple effects of this meltdown. If we had responded to Sheen with tired yawns, would he have pursued the tour? Did his manager realize that what he was doing seemed like a stroke of genius because we are all just a bunch of numbskulls? Whether it's real or not is still debatable. I'm sure cameras are rolling somewhere, capturing all the Sheen antics that have come thus far. A "Winning" movie is likely in the works and tigers will soon become an endangerged species because of the demand for their blood. Until then, I continue to applaud a celebrity like Sheen who defies the critics, rises above the banter and haters, and gains momementum in an otherwise need-to-know society hanging on to his every word. Perhaps we are looking at this the wrong way and maybe he has us all fooled like Joaquin did. Until I hear the word gotcha come out of his mouth, I'm classifying this case under the sheer brilliance file and part of me is sort of jealous.