This one is for you, Dad

Today's Topic: Father's Day

He's a provider. He's a foundation for the family unit. A man who tells stories, and a man who may not share his feelings, but that $20 he just threw in your pocket for gas money or for the anticipated cab ride home after a night of partying tells you just exactly how he feels. Some rule with an iron fist, other rule with an iron set of rules. Growing up, maybe he's the discipline when you need it, or  perhaps it's the "Do what your mother says." However you look at your Dad, he becomes an instant source and prime example of what it's like to be a man. That's worth a high five.

For me, there isn't a single person in this world who has done for me or given me more than my Dad (and I have Mom to thank for that, because after all, it takes two to tango) I think when a son is growing up with his father by his side, their relationship changes as the years go by. For me, it was growing up on the farm, and my dad instilling in me the work ethic he knows is vital to supporting the life I want and the person I want to be. When you're little, you grow up saying I want to be a firefighter or I want to be police man. I never really caught onto that phase; I wanted to be just like my Dad.

As I get older, I see how boys turn into men and how they become their father's son. I notice how girls are still and always will be "daddy's little girl." It's hard to imagine a life without a father. The influence of a first fishing trip, who you learn how to shoot a gun, a first sip of a beer, the first date your Dad drives you to, the coach who teaches you how to shoot a puck or swing a bat...I could go on for days. I look at the role Dad's play in our life: coach, mentor, provider and hero are the first words that come to my mind. As guys, we have a funny way of showing our emotion. We have to be tough, we can't cry and we can't be wimps. Dad's don't often show emotion and I think it's because it's their duty to be the strength and the provider. It's a role that has been in place for years, and it's one that we live by. But every once in awhile, like a rare lunar eclipse, we shed a tear. We say those three little words. It's those moments that people live with, the ones that they don't forget.

As I'm sitting her writing, I'm thinking about all the ways I can try to relate to guys out there who may be reading this post and trying to find an emotional way to attach themselves to a story without feeling like "less of a man." For this, I turn to Hollywood. I think of Braveheart, when a young William Wallace wants to go with his father to fight the English, and he tries to convince him he can come because he can fight. His father looks down at him and says, "I know you can fight; but it's our wits that make us men." Father/Son moment #1. Our how about in Barney's Version, when Barney, after countless talks with his father, and when he has his third wife, his Dad is sitting with him on the porch, watching his grandchildren play when he looks at his son and says (in Yiddish terms), "You've done good, boychick." Father/Son moment #2. Both of these when looking at them in context have a deeper meaning then a simple set of words. A bond between a father and son is usually an unspoken one, or it's a bond of 10 words or less. And that, for many, is the relationship that they have with their father. One saying or one term or phrase that makes the special I love you bond between two grown men. It's our wits that make us men. You've done good, boy. I'm proud of you. You're going to be a man someday. All of these little sentences that run a deep bond, stronger than any man and bigger than any muscle. With my dad, when I'm leaving to go somewhere, the phrase is "Don't do anything stupid." Mom says it's his way of saying "I love you, son." She's deadly accurate.

I know a lot of people who aren't as lucky as me and don't have a Dad to lean on, on days like today. Or they have to go to the "back nine" to see them. For them, they exist only in memory and the stories they tell. My heart goes out to them and this post is dedicated to them. They are the ones who had it tough today.

I'm fortunate that I get to see my Dad almost every day of my life. It's a unique position to be in, to get to laugh everyday with your Dad, to grow in business, to watch and learn, realize how brilliant a man can be and how to be a constant source of inspiration. Father's day becomes a golf holiday, or a dinner with your family, a phone call from near or far. For many, it's a day to be thankful for the person we look up to. In the simplest of terms, it's a day to simply say "Thank you, for being you." And most importantly, it's a celebration. So raise your glass, wave your hats, slap a back or give a manly hug. In my eyes, Dad's are awesome. They always will be.        

Here's to you, Mom

Today's Topic: Mother's Day

I still remember my first vivid memories of the time I spent with my mom. Because I was the baby in the family, Mom got to spend a lot of one on one time with me when I was little (seeing how my brother and sister were at school) I remember she used to crank up the volume on her record player when I was at home, and she used to pick me up and we would dance to Rod Stewart's "The Motown Song." I specifically remember this because when the chorus came on and she sang, "Echo to the alley down below," she would flip me over, my head would almost touch the floor and she'd pull me back up while I laughed hysterically. To this day, every single time I hear that song, I think of her, and my mind remembers those little moments when I was my mom's "special little guy." I also think her record player and the music she listened to had an enormous influence on my love for music, to this day.

That's the thing I think mother's are most known for; the influence they have on their children. It's human instinct to want to be able to guide someone or something in life, and mother's just seem to be a natural at it. Even when I was a typical smart ass teenager, the words "You're right, Mom" still tasted like vinegar coming out of my mouth. We have so much to be thankful for when it comes to mom's. Whether she lets you know with a hug, a kiss, an I love you, a home cooked meal, a day at the spa or just giving you a little pocket change "in case you need it," mom's just always seem to know the right thing to say and the right thing to do, every time.

I find in interesting to see the transition periods that mom's have with their children. In your younger years, it's the protection, the nurturing, the feeding, the clothing and the "rules" of the house. As we become teens, it's the driving, the questions, the late night "can you come pick me up?" calls, the first party, the first date preparations and the pains and struggles of trying to raise a teenager who already has the whole world figured out. And then before we hit 20 and when we begin life on our own, it's the sound advice they give you, the protection they still have, the questions are still there and the days that pass by when you have a sudden realization the impact they have had on you up to this point in your life. The one thing that never changes between a mother and their child is the love. Through thick and thin, through the best and the worst, when you are at your highest and your lowest points, mom's always have your back. They always believe your story and even when it's hard, no matter how bad you screw up, they can always look you in the eyes and still seem to be able to say, "I still love you." That's a bond stronger then any storm, thicker then any and deeper than any water on earth. When a teacher gets mad at you, mom is there to stick up for you. When you fall off your bike, mom is there to tell you to get back on. When you're little and throw a birthday party, mom is there to hand out the treat bags.       

A good friend summed up perfectly the role that mother's play in our lives today when he said: "Mothers are the greatest friends we have in this life. They carry us during pregnancy; they clean, feed, and clothe us when we're babies; they love, care, and guide us for as long as they live. Even when we're grown adults, whenever they get the chance, they cook us our favourite meals and always try to make sure we're eating properly. They think we're smarter than all the other kids even when we aren't. They think we're cuter than the other kids even when other people see things differently. Basically, they give us way more credit than we deserve in pretty much every aspect of life! Even when they're mad at you, there still isn't anyone else that has your back as much as your mom does. They show us more mercy than any other human being alive and all they ask for in return is love and respect. Don't let this be the only day you show love to your mom for being the best friend you'll have in this life." Brilliantly put, Anas.

I could go on and on until I am blue in the face talking about the vital role that mom's play in our life, but you still have the same result and can draw the same conclusion: mom's know best. Of course, we will never be able to thank them enough or do enough for them for the years of lessons and love that mom's give us, but it's important not only today, but every day; to cherish and remember when mom's have been there for you, no questions asked. That's just what they do. With my mom, all is takes is a hug and a kiss, and that is enough. It's simple and it's easy.

Whenever you're in doubt, and you wonder why mom does all those things for you when you don't even ask her to, remember this. As my mom says, when I ask "Why?", she answers with, "Because I'm your mom."

Enough said.

Introduction to Small Town Stories

Today's Topic: Introduction- A Brief Monologue

Everybody has their story. This just happens to be mine. This is a piece of paper. This is ink. And this is the colour black. This book is full of that particular colour.  And of course, these are words, and you’re reading them. Your brain is telling you this. It’s also guiding you down the page as we speak. Go on, take a minute and keep reading. You see? Isn’t it amazing how your brain just knows how to do that? Now take another minute and ponder this; what if you couldn’t read these words? What if you couldn’t see? Would you still know what words like this look like? What about your imagination or your interpretation of text? Do you ever think about this and consider the fact that it is a God given gift to have the natural ability to have eyes that see images and words? Try not to think too hard about this, you’re going to need to save your energy.  I’m going to continue to challenge you and point these things out with the pages that follow in behind this one.   

Growing up in a small town makes for a pretty simple and pretty standard way of life. It was only when I flew from the nest, or as my parents coined it “spread my wings,” that I started to realize just how significant or special small town stories can be. When I began to fly, this is when I started asking questions like “what if?” When you look at something over and over again or you tell the same story but in a different voice or under different circumstances, to me it seemed like just a natural process to analyze every mundane detail that people seem to forget about or leave out of their story.  

This book is about an ignorant kid who didn’t know any better and who knew nothing about the world outside of his little town of Belleville where he milked cows since he was 4 years old. It’s about growth and change and substance, how he navigated his way through the city, the subway, bus routes and the different colours of skin. It’s about realizing potential and going on adventures to ask the necessary questions that need to have answers. But even when they don’t have answers, there’s a story that goes with it, and this helps you, as a reader, navigate down the rabbit hole.

The idea and inspiration for this bounded material of ink and paper came from a variety of things. Life happens fast, and when it does, you can get left coughing the dust that the tail pipe from the car created or if you take too long to blink, sometimes life passes you by completely. Well, I got caught breathing in the dust that was left behind and I figured I had two options. Metaphorically speaking, I could stand by the side of the road wondering exactly where and when I went wrong and see the car fade in the distance. Or, I could cough for a brief moment, battle through it, and run after the vehicle, keeping it in my site and eventually grasping for the door to get back in and face the road to life head on. I chose the latter. And this is the beginning of that story.

When I analyze something or write about something in this book, I try to tell a story. It’s because I’m from a small town that these stories create what I will argue as a unique angle or hook.  I try to be optimistic when I tell you stories because it’s vitally important to remember this; realize that there are one of two certainties in life. You believe that everything happens in a pre-planned schedule, where we as human beings are not in control of our destiny or fate and life has already been pre planned, deciding for us when we begin and when we end.  Or, you understand that everything that you do in life, every action, every minute and every second of each day happens completely on its own, with no set plan, being in control of your fate and anything that helps shape your destiny. Things just happen, just because.  It is my job, as the author of this book, to point out these things to you that you might not think about. Give an old idea a fresh perspective. It is my duty, to stand behind my words and ask questions. We can find the answers together. If you can’t find the answer or figure it out on your own, then listen to me. Read my words.  After all, that is the point of writing, isn’t it? To be convincing?  

Keep this is mind: this is a no nonsense book. Recess is over and class is back in session. Get a warm drink and cozy blanket. You could be here for a while.           

The Million Dollar Athlete

Today's Topic: Professional Athletes

Kobe Bryant

Call them role models, hero's, people you admire or people that are just "sick" at whatever their chosen sport. Just don't call them poor and unfortunate, because in my humble opinion, they have the best job in the world.

Forbes magazine is great but also incredibly depressing for a lot of reasons. They tell you about all the people who are bigger, smarter and richer than you. In 2008-2009, Tiger Woods was named the world's richest athlete. In that year, Woods made $110 million. That was his salary, which breaks down to about $4 dollars a SECOND. Oh, did I also mention that he only played about half the year? Since his car crash and his lack of performance (no pun intended), he still remains the world's richest athlete raking in $75 million dollars last year by being the front man for Nike and Electronic Arts (EA Sports); two companies which have built an empire over the Tiger Woods brand. It leads me to a much deeper question, is Tiger Woods a bigger brand than Nike itself? And he's not the only one. Kobe Bryant made $24.8 million last year, 4 million more than any other player in the NBA. With his endorsements, Bryant brought home around $54 million last year. Who would have thought...20 years ago if you had have told someone that the two most successful and highest paid athletes in the world would be African-American, most would have laughed in your face, Welcome to the future, ladies and gentlemen. Lebron James, Roger Federer (Tennis), Phil Mickelson (Golf) David Beckham (Soccer), Ronaldo (Soccer), Alex Rodriguez (MLB) are some of the notable athletes that rounded out the top ten, not one of them when filing for their taxes files for less than $30 million. The highest payed hockey players you ask? Vincent Lecalvier, Roberto Luongo and Sidney Crosby, all of whom make $10, $10, and $9 million dollars respectively (not including any endorsement deals)

The one and only, Yankee Stadium

Yes, every player has their hand in the cookie jar. And the better you play, the more money you are worth. General managers and owners of sports teams have got it down to a science in terms of a players value and how much they are worth. And the agents that represent them? Well they just pat their backs, and tell them how great they are...at their job. If you are to step back and look at it, it really is a larger than life picture they are painting. Driven by the dollar and the thrill of the game, the world's best athletes sit high on a pedestal of luxury and glory, getting all the big breaks and all the best of everything, ever. The money that North American sports organizations sink into their sport every year is off the charts. With the exception of soccer and perhaps the PGA tour, which is categorized as a world sport, nearly 90% of sporting events take place on North American soil. When you put it in that perspective, it's no wonder we live in a society that is fueled by the rich and famous. Of course, it's fueled by us, the fans. Let's all go out to the ball game, and heck why not when you can go see the jays for a measly $12. Or take in the game in the nosebleeds of a Bills Game for $35. As long as you can get us through the gate, we are supporting every single athlete salary, every game. Without a fan, without that specific market, there would be no lap of luxury for the million dollar athlete.

This is not to say that I don't support sporting events or any sport in general, I really do. I have been to almost every major sporting event, with the exception of a PGA event (there's something about watching golf, and then watching golf live that just doesn't do it for me) I'll tell you this: The game is bigger than the athletes, the sport is bigger than the organization and the message and what we get out of it is bigger than any game. And it's only getting bigger.

Need I say more?

Athletes are a small class of citizens in a unique position to alter our lives and way of thinking, even if it's only for a split second. A classic, "Where were you when Sidney Crosby scored that goal?" is a staple of that statement. Take any given play in any given Superbowl, an event that is the biggest in the world of sports, and you travel down memory lane, taking in all the hair-standing-up-on-the-back-of-your-neck moments.  It's this awesome power that we give into, and we gladly do it because for brief moments, we forget about the stress in our life and the daily grind and struggle we incur to put food on the table. We become a God in our own arena, a statue and symbol of our own greatness. Athletes and fans have this unspoken understanding and passion that they share. I'll help you get paid millions, you entertain me while I cheer you on.

An athletes natural gift is potentially worth millions and that is what the entire sports community will have you believe. It starts when that little guy puts on his first pair of skates, that is when the dream begins to hoist the Stanley Cup (I get chills just thinking about it.) It begins on the court when you shoot your first basketball, or when you sign up for t-ball, or little league football, or score your first soccer goal; it all encompasses the world of self-achievement and fulfillment. You can't help but wrap yourself into it. And yes, the athletes are ridiculously over payed but as the sport grows, so does the salaries and the bank accounts of the world's greatest. It's a universal truth.

For some, the million dollar athlete is a symbol of something that they can never be, or somewhere along the line, they gave up on the dream of being the greatest. So we settle for a seat on the couch or in the stadium, and we scream all the top of our lungs for the pride we share in the passion of the game. Buying into the idea means buying into a system that can be fulfilling and frustrating. At the end of the day, and relatively speaking, we are all just pigeons on a wire, watching the greatest sports figures in the world carry out their day-to-day jobs.  

Game on.              

The Injustice System

Today's Topic: Canada's Judicial System

Part 11 d) of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms indicates that every Canadian citizen "has the right upon arrest or detention to be presumed innocent until proven guilty according to law in a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal" I get that. And this week's sitdown is not an argument to discuss our fundamental rights and freedoms as Canadians. Since we are entitled to such a thing, it becomes a democratic system; a country built on the idea of equality and fairness for every walk of life, no matter colour, creed or religious belief. I also get that. However, in a cold blooded murder, it's the possibility that a maximum sentence could be a 25 year imprisonment and in some circumstances, WITH, the possibility of parole. This is what I don't get.

I believe in justice and rightfully so, taking media studies in school along with law and the media classes really opened my eyes to this so called justice system we live under. I've always found it interesting to watch as lawyers do their fancy footwork in severe cases and murder trials, when the accused really have their back up against the wall and really have no other option but to throw on the zebra coloured jumpsuits. So they do their best to plead their case "Your Honour my client has been declared clinically insane," "Your Honour, this man comes from a broken home and broken life and his crime was not his fault because of his mental capacity" "Your Honour, this crime was in self defense," and the list goes on and on. Plead guilty and you can lessen the sentence, admit you made a mistake and better yourself in the process. Now I can't speak from experience or from the side of a "born-again-inmate" but something is clearly wrong with this justice system when the death penalty is not the ONE AND ONLY option if you are proven guilty of taking someones last breath of air, in a court of law by an independent and impartial tribunal. This system really gets under my skin. Remember the days when people were hung from the highest tower in the centre of the town? When the barbaric humans would have a public stoning to the death? When the death penalty WAS still instituted across the globe? Even lethal injection?

Not to be stereotypical, but it seems to me that this is the current day scenario for the bloodiest crimes and horrifying acts: "25 years in prison with the possibility of parole in lets saaaaayyyyy 15 years. Until then, we will use the taxpayers dollars to put you up in a facility where you can slum it with the other inmates, and correct yourself through the ways of the Lord, or heck even get a certified education or degree, on the house. We will provide the books and the meals, just as long as you try to make up for what you did. Just don't screw this up." I want to say that I'm over exaggerating. I want to say that some part of that scenario is a far fetched crazy and clearly ridiculous situation. I want to say that, but I can't.

We are taught from a very early age the dangers of doing bad things. Don't touch guns, don't pick up knives and don't run with scissors cover the essentials. It's ingrained in us to not have a killer instinct, to not have the desire to take another person's life. The thing that I find injustice about our justice system is this. Put yourself in a situation where god forbid, someone you love with all your heart is murdered and the killer is never brought to trial for what he or she did, the evidence is inconclusive or whatever the case may be. Fast forward a year later, and let's say you're 25. You have found the killer. You have a gun to the temple of the person you know killed your loved one. You pull the trigger and you find your own justice. Coming before the court, you get slapped with a maximum sentence and the ability for parole in 15 years. So you've decided, well might as well educate myself while I'm in here. You get your degree, FREE OF CHARGE, and re-enter society 15 years later at the age of 40, educated, relieved and ready to start the next 40 years of your life. So many people struggle day to day with their finances, how am I going to pay for school, how am I going to educate myself, how am I going to make it and be a provider one day for myself and maybe a family? But wait, you're telling me that if I have beef with someone, I could just kill them, and not have to constantly struggle with University or College finances, the eternal struggle that people face everyday just to "make it", and the appealing possibility that I might even get parole if I prove that I have "changed" while getting justice and a peace of mind for doing the "right thing?"  Give yourself those two options and honestly answer this: which one would you choose? Going into jail knowing that you could get out or struggle from the start only to maybe find your true happiness? Please, don't get me wrong here, this is not an advertisement for a murder campaign, to me that is not the answer. But just think about it, put yourself in that worst case scenario and really think about "what is my option at this point?"

For now, the Canadian justice system is seriously flawed in my opinion, even in the most petty of crimes. I get a speeding ticket where I am clearly guilty, but I might not have to pay the fine? The so called "SET" fine? Where does the line of justice begin and the line of injustice end? Where do we go with our mistakes and what do we learn from them? If you are a creature of habit, you just do what feels natural anyway, unless you put yourself in a dark and destitute place of immoral wrong doings to which you get some sort of sick thrill from it all. Then, does being bad become good? What if you were like the TV character Dexter and took your hate out on all the villains of society that are never brought to justice...is what he does by murdering these "low life's" of society constitute as justice? 

For once in your life, put yourself on the top bench, and you be the judge. Ask yourself, how would you fight injustice? Do you sit back and watch, or does resistance become your duty? Think about it...just this once, because...you never know.     

Incredible Ink

Today's Topic: Tattoos

You've seen them in public, those colourful pieces of artistic magic that tell a story. On a long bus ride to work in the summer, you might catch a glimpse of the girl in front of you, her tattoo on her back playing peak-a-boo and you can only see maybe 45% of it, the rest leaving it up to your imagination. Or you might have seen him: the classic tight fitted shirt revealing only 75% of his "sleeve." When a person sees a tattoo, in this day and age, they do one of two things. Turn away in disgust, wondering how anyone can do that to their body, or, wonder in their head, I wonder what the story is behind that. I do the latter because it truly is an incredible art form.  

I've always been a fan of ink and I think I find the whole tattoo concept fascinating for a few reasons. I think the main reason is the story telling aspect, and because I love to tell and share stories and write and blog about random ideas and passions that I have, tattoos encompass all of that. That little logo, that little symbol, or that massive design that crawls down a person's arm or back makes for very honest and sometimes deep conversation. The second reason is out of pure interest: We are given this pound of flesh to play with through our entire life. Some people tone it, others let it get fat, and of course staying on today's topic, some people decorate it. It really frustrates me when mothers or elders (not trying to stereotype) start a smear campaign against "those damn kids" with their tattoos. Look at it merely as body decorations, and when you die this corpse of yours is going to rot anyway...so what is the issue? I also love the people who use the "It's crazy" line. Oh really? So it's not crazy to plaster your lawn at Christmas time with hundreds of dollars worth of decorations? Or go over the top to impress the passer-by's because your decorations in your house look so "awesome"? Good one, hypocrites. It's human nature to want to seek attention, and to grab someones eye with an image. And if the only way you can express that is through interpretive body design...fill your boots!

I was at a party this weekend and was talking to a guy who was in the army. I'd met him once before, but never really got a chance to talk to him. I noticed he had several interesting and fairly random tattoos that never really fit into a theme, but some of which looked really awesome. So I just simply asked him "What's the story behind your tattoos?" He told me he gets them from every place he does a tour of duty in. So Kuwait, Afghanistan and so many other countries tell his story through his ink. Awesome! My best friend has a family crest tattoo so he doesn't forget where he comes from. He is also a boxer so he also has a scripture on his arm that translates to "A brave man may fall but cannot yield." Awesome! It got me thinking that tattoos can really be a source of inspiration. Other people I know put them on for love, for remembrance and one girl I know put one on where her IntraVenous went in because she defeated cancer. SO AWESOME! It got me realizing that people go through hell and back in their life, and to honour it, to remember it, to get them up in the morning, they share that piece of their life story with the colour wheel. Who was it that said tattoos are trashy? Only trashy people get them. They couldn't have been for real. People, THIS IS POWERFUL STUFF.  

Years ago, I think the whole tattoo genre got a bad name simply because teenagers were doing it out of rebellion. Disobeying your parents meant doing the complete opposite of what they told you to do. Nowadays, people like Kat Von D make it an art form. Television networks are doing shows on it. Rockstars and role models are getting inked to tell and remember their story. It's this whole entire massive culture phenomenon of brush strokes and laser pens. For a lot of people, ink on your body tells a story of your life. I remember watching an episode of LA Ink when the country sensation band Emerson Drive were on. In 2007, their hit song "Moments" was the number one most played country song in Canada, which is an enormity. To honour the success of the song, the band got a tattoo to always remember this huge success and this huge "Moment" in their lives, to have a song reach number one and to change lives. It's safe to say that even though they are country, that was a rock and roll move by them. Another story brought to you by the tattoo shop. A huge success in their life and they honoured it with permanent ink.
     
The question I ask you is this, what IS actually wrong with tattoos? Again, take it from a guy who isn't even privileged enough to say I have permanent ink on me. And if you want to be ignorant against people with tattoos, it's almost like wake up and welcome yourself to the planet. Human beings are alive with culture and we are alive with art. And if it's true what they say when they say "art is truth," and if tattoos are seen as an art form, do I really have to fill in the blanks on this one? In it's truest form, in it's most purest form, tattoos (or as I like to call it, decorative art) should not be frowned on and should not be told to cover up. Would you tell an artist who paints pictures to cover it up because you don't like the subject? Would you march up to someone and tell them their haircut looks ridiculous? So the next time you see a tattoo, even if it's a complete stranger, just ask them what their story is. And to be perfectly honest, it is a great conversation starter. You are instantly learning about someones life and the bigger part of them. You may be surprised or even enlightened by the story you get.       

Don't judge it. Don't hide it. Don't hate it.

Embrace it. 

A New Year and New Beginnings

Today's Topic: New Years Resolutions

I'm a firm believer that obstacles are placed in front of us so that we can overcome some of life's greatest challenges. I also believe that a person will only ever know their own limitations by challenging themselves and stepping outside of their comfort zone. And with a new year upon us, society tells us that it's time to start a new chapter. It's time for Chapter 2012.

I started to ponder the question: "Is it really possible to have a New Years resolution?" So let's take a look at that today. For some, resolutions come easy; people making bigger steps to take their life to the next level.  It all starts with an idea or a choice that we make. "I want to start eating better." "I want to be a better parent." "I want to try something new." "I want to lose weight." "I want to fall in love." I always felt Christmas and New Years went hand in hand. What you didn't get on the 25th, you can strive for it at the strike of midnight six days later. Or, what you did get on the 25th, makes you realize what you "need" to help you be better and to help you take a leap forward, moving in what you hope to be your right direction six days later. 

Keeping the resolution is the problem. In general, and I'm stereotyping here, but most people give up way too easy on their resolution. It always left me pondering why people do it. And then I realized that it's a lot easier to make an excuse than it is to make results. Money holds back resolutions, so does Time, so does Our Own Thought Process, so does Embarrassment, and the list goes on. I capitalize these words to make a statement: identify the barrier and what you call a problem or excuse. Make it the goal to fix it and make it the result.       

Now I know by this point if you're still reading, you're all probably just DYING to know what my resolution is (this is my attempt at humoring my reader). I really want to finish my book, finish the idea, finish the product and take my next leap forward. That is my goal I have set out, and my resolution if you will (although it may never get read because the Mayans tell us we are all going to die next December anyway...right?) I believe in the idea of a resolution. Some may even call it a REVolution. But, I also think that January 1st is this complete ridiculous fabrication of "starting over." That is b.s. I can start over anytime I want. How about June 28th? I can change who I am or who I want to be on August 9th. Sorry Dick Clark, but it doesn't take a ball dropping in Times Square for me to be happy and who I want to be in my life. Just pick a date. However, I do like the idea of a resolution because it makes you a better person for a lot of reasons. You are contributing to a bigger set of rules and a bigger picture that makes you walk out the door every morning.

I'm not an expert and I don't pretend to be one. If you know my writing, you know it's straight from the hip. So I'm going to give you the lowdown on the resolution: As I get older, I realize that I have an old soul. But I also realize that there really is no limit. There is no resolution too big, too small or not big enough. Like anything else, you take the first step. You create your own story to tell people that it all began on January 1st, it was my new years resolution. And for a lot of people, it's an ego booster. It feels good to have someone say good for you or I'm proud of you. But you have to own the resolution, and not let it own you. And by that I mean really push yourself. I watched Into The Wild recently, which reminded me of the brilliance that we have within ourselves and I was reminded that there is still hope for mankind. All we have to do is try. There are several quotes in the movie but one that pertains to this topic of a resolution really sticks with me. To paraphrase: It's important in life to not necessarily be strong, but to feel strong. To find yourself in the most ancient of human conditions with only your hands and your head.  And that to me is entirely what a resolution should be: common sense.

So yes, it is possible to have a resolution. You can always improve who you are, which improves who someone else is, which improves a group of people, and you know how the rest of this goes. In bare bones, there are two things certain in life. You live and you die. Make the resolution count. Let it stand for something, for who you want to be. 

I know I'm not going to change the world with a blog or a book, but I'm going to try.


Start tomorrow. Start today. Just Start your engine. Explore, seek, find and do not yield.  


 

Showgirls

Today's Topic: Showing Jersey Cows

It might seem crazy to get dressed up in all white clothes and parade around a ring. It might seem crazy to become "cattle hair dressers", teasing it, combing it, spraying it and giving them an essential royal treatment. It might also seem crazy to drive thousands of miles for cattle shows, truck the girls 14 hours across the states to Kentucky, or 13 hours to Wisconsin or stay for a week at the Direct Energy Centre in Toronto at the Royal Winter Fair. Yes, it's all part of the game. The job. And the business.

Ever since I was old enough to walk, I was helping my parents show dairy cattle; with a white shirt and pants, a hatband or a harness and a lead strap in my hand. Growing up, I was involved in this culture, completing 4-H projects year after year, and doing my best with the jersey(s) I was showing. Well, 11 brown haired girls, countless local shows and 5 National Shows visits later, I still fine myself completely immersed in this culture several weekends (and sometimes weeks) of the year; along with thousands of other people. 

There is...so much to showing dairy cattle. I couldn't possibly think of every show moment or every single detail from the shows I have been too and sit down to write it all in a single blog. Countless hours of preparation, feeding, bedding, and clipping of hair. At the shows, you don't run on a good nights rest or a healthy meal. Sleep comes in small doses, food comes with "whatever is quick and easy" and your body hates you for several hours up until showtime. But then the day comes. Showday arrives and all of a sudden all the hours you have deprived your body of sleep, food and just plain common sense don't seem to matter anymore. You're instead running on adrenaline and the thrill of being able to show off your prize winning cows to friends, family, the general public and interested breeders and buyers. Ribbons, trophies, jackets, prize money and a picture in the winner's circle; and it's over just as fast as it began. And then comes more work; loading up, packing up, tearing down, etc etc. It's both physically and mentally exhausting. But in between the work, I can still manage to sneak in a pop...or two. Our farm has had our share of success in the showring at some of the biggest cattle shows in the world. This has lead to great business partnerships and a sense of belonging to a community; a community of like minded people who all love the same thing; showing cows. Just like how people show horses, chickens, pigs, dogs, or whatever the animal...it's a unique thing we do. 

I think in my second life, I'm going to be a show cow. A typical fair for one of our jersey cows is like a day (or sometimes week) at the spa; that's how I like to describe it to people when asked what exactly is involved in showing these beauties. A hot bath with soap, getting all your hair clipped, the best bedding and all the food you can eat. Then on showday, more manicure procedures take place; styling that hair with cow hair products, a black show shine added to the hoofs, a flower type spray to make them sparkle, shine and smell pretty and then, a walk around to the people looking on. Oh, and did I mention getting your ass wiped as well? Because that happens too. So to all of that, SIGN ME UP.

And yes you heard me right, cow hair products. A whole line of them. From hair dying colours, to soap and brushes, to clipping equipment, to hair dryers for blowing up and teasing hair...I would need a whole separate blog session to detail the players involved in selling this stuff to we, the "showgirls" consumers. It's a niche market, and they make a fortune.   

Even though I'm not quite as involved in my family farm operation as what I used to be, I love people that still say to me "You're just a farmer." Yep, just a farmer. The business that we are in, is a business just like any other. High pedigreed show cattle can go for big dollars. I have seen people spend up to $100,000 on a single female cow at public auction; only to turn around and DOUBLE their investment. If you have the genetics, the right market and the right sales pitch, you can make a dollar in this show industry that people regard as "just farming." Brazil, China, Guatemala, Denmark, India, Australia, Europe, Uruguay and so on...they all want Canadian genetics. And we can't produce them fast enough. Embryos (or "cow eggs" if you will) are being shipped daily, and literally across the globe. Every farm that is involved in this business, this business of marketing cows, strives to keep up with these markets and to find the next "great one." It's a whole new way of thinking. At the end of the day, the cow still produces it;s product and simple business strategy will tell you that the product is what creates the business. Only showing dairy cattle takes it to the next level. To have one of these prized possessions to call your own; it's honestly an experience like not other. It's so hard to write about it, you simply have to live it. 

So the next time you are out and about or you happen to drive by the local fair, take the time to appreciate the days of preparation that go into those shows. The hours of washing, bedding, feeding, training and grooming that go into those bovine beauties. It's a culture like no other. Call us crazy, but that's the business. And when you hit the business at full stride, you discover how insane we really are. The miles we travel, the hotels we stay in, the drinks we down and the friends we make; all thanks to the girls at the barn. Not bad for a group of big, hairy animals. Not bad for a group of showgirls.              

Views of some of the competition walking around the colored shavings in Kentucky in 2008. Our showgirls attended and our farm was their with a full lineup...it was an incredible journey!

People helping People

Today's Topic: The People We Meet

I have been fortunate this year to have met people from all over the world...literally. My travels this year have taken me to Texas, Las Vegas, all across Eastern and Western Ontario and the upcoming East Coast Canada trip. The family business has allowed me to meet people from Uruguay, Malaysia, Italy and Brazil...just to name a few. There is something that I just find completely awesome about meeting people from around the world, learning about different ways of life and why people do what they do.

I sit back as another year is coming to a close and I am starting to reflect on just the different outlooks of life people have. It's a proven fact that this can affect choices and decisions we make in our own lives and whether we just take it for what it is on the surface or embrace it and try to find a hidden meaning or understanding. Of course, I seem to take the latter of the two and look for a discovery or why I feel so happy talking about these people and sharing my stories with friends, family and even random people who happen to stumble across the Sunday Sitdowns.

When I was playing poker in Las Vegas earlier this year, the locals seemed to start to respect me when they realized I wasn't just a typical tourist who didn't understand the fundamentals of a game that TO THEM, is a way of life. It was because of this that the locals started to share some real Las Vegas stories, to which I was more than eager to listen to. When you start to hear about people throwing away $6,000 thousand dollars only to show up the next day with a smile on their face, you don't feel as bad for losing $20. Only guy told me for ten years, it was his profession to be a poker player, and thanks tourists for allowing him to make a living. I thought isn't it funny how the world works? Vegas and the people made me realize how insignificant money can be. Especially when you take out $200 at the debit machine, only to get two $100 dollar bills and not the usual mitt-full of twenties. In staying within America, the people in Texas were something else. Southern drawl, friendly going, kick up your boots and have a drink sort of folks. Eat until you are busting a gut and living the truth slogan of everything is bigger in Texas. To me, America is almost culturally separated by states, and every state has people that are completely different from the last state you resided in. No two are really alike.

I sat at the table in my parents house today and realized just how many international guests we have entertained over the years. The laughs, the good times, the huge meals...everything just gives you a feeling of pride for the country you live in and what is means to have a country to call home. There hasn't been one negative business deal that we have dealt with (knock on wood) where people from different parts of the world couldn't find an equilibrium or a universal understanding. I feel fortunate that I can educate myself from people who drive down our driveway, to educate myself on the inner working of the world. It's impossible to see this entire planet. Its impossible to meet every face. But when we do, we are connected through our common knowledge of what life is about: Happiness, Success, Laughter and Grasping Knowledge...the list could go on. What I'm starting to realize is that we are all in this thing together, a true people helping people scenario. What we learn, what we do, what we share all becomes a collection of what we stand for and what we understand. Ignorance is no longer an excuse to me, because it really is that easy to say Hello to a stranger, a person from another country, and share a laugh, a smile, a drink or a meal together. Enjoying the people that make up the moments, that seems to be the answer.

It's a powerful thing to learn about a different culture and people that live in it. It's even more powerful to share common interests. After all, isn't that a part of life?

To strive, to seek, to find, and not, to yield.

When Duty Calls...

Today's Topic: Superheroes

I have always been really jealous of Batman, even though I know he's not real. When I first saw the new "Batman Begins" series several years ago, I became even more intrigued and wondered, "What would it be like to be a superhero?" The thought of being an unsung hero has always interested me for some reason. Maybe because it is one of the only noble things a person can do anymore, and not have to ask for anything in return, get paid for it or get recognition for doing it. To become Batman would be a thing of sheer beauty; to roam the streets and protect the innocent or ones who can't protect themselves.

There was a time when the comic book was considered to be a stereotypical "nerd" thing to hold in your hands. It wasn't a cool or flashy hobby to be into men flying around in capes, super human beings with their laser eyes or lighting fast speed and even scientists that were the result of a science experiment gone wrong. I was watching a show on HBO called "Superheroes" and the show dealt with real life people who have taken on the hobby of making the streets safer in their communities. And they are everywhere! One man has formed the XJL...Xtreme Justice League. Another married couple spend their down time together and make it their duty roaming the streets as Zetaman and Apocalypse Meow. The Dark Guardian, a man who calls himself Life...the list goes on and on. Even individuals who have had extensive jujitsu or martial arts training make it their citizen duty to be a silent (or sometimes very vocal) protector. I think Marvel and DC Comics have done an incredible job making the superhero "cool" again by pushing out successful summer blockbuster movies and really getting people back into the newly discovered comic genre. Mix incredible graphics and a director's passion for a project and you can really see the magic on screen when you watch films like The Dark Knight, X-Men, Watchmen, Transformers and Ironman...just to name a few. You don't have to be a comic lover to appreciate a brilliant on screen performance.

I think the thing about superheroes that really impresses me is their alter ego. We all do have an alter ego or quirky thing about us, and that's completely normal. Just not all of us dress up in a costume or wear a mask to show it. In fact, there were times when I seriously questioned myself and wondered what it would be like to become a superhero like Batman. So I picked up a book called "Becoming Batman" which was a neuroscience professors look at the possibility of a superhero. In his opinion, to become a superhero like Batman could actually be possible. If you think about it, Batman does not have any superhuman qualities or strengths. He just has a cape, really good equipment, years of training in martial arts, a really sweet vehicle and busloads of money; all things that would be required to become a man of his stature. You also have to keep in mind the extreme dedication to the process it would take someone...the food you would be required to eat, how to improve your reaction time, the dangerous situations you would be throwing yourself into and the hours of training it would take to become a masked vigilante. We are looking at a least 20 years for all of these to fall into place. And then once you're in the position, realistically, how much physical abuse could you put your body through and still function a day to day basis?

I think at one point growing up, we may have all dreamed (or maybe it was just the guys) of being a hero, sweeping the pretty girl off her feet and saving people from crime, one day at a time. Many argue saying, "that's what cops are for." But superheros generally don't have rules to follow; they are just more interested in preventing mass chaos (which is why they signed up to be a superhero in the first place). If I had all of those things required to do the job (including thousands of dollars), I think I would seriously consider becoming a superhero. It would be the ultimate way to give back selflessly, and not need to have anything come back in return for the service you provide. Even thrilling television shows like Dexter have taken the possibility of a noble man into consideration. Only for Dexter, a question of morals comes into play, even though he is killing criminals and evil doers who pray on the innocent. It is something that I find truly fascinating, which some would say doesn't sound normal. But others would stand up and applaud, because the world will always look for a hero.

5 Must See Movies

Today's Topic: Movies

I've decided to do something a little different on the Sunday Sitdowns this week. Instead of a over-analytical column on a life topic about crazy situations that probably only I ever think about, I've decided to come up with a list of 5 movies that you may not have seen before. They are movies that had an impact on me. While it's easy to come up with a list of classic movies and everyone's "favourite" flick on all time, I have chosen 5 movies that "relatively" flew under the radar when they were released and movies that may/may not have found their way into your movie collection. They are movies that get you thinking. So here it is: my top 5 movies that are hidden gems in the video store and amongst people's collection


5. Man on the Moon (1999)- When I first saw man on the moon, I was in awe. Jim Carrey showed why he can be taken seriously as an actor in this movie portraying the life of the long time comedic wonder, Andy Kaufman. The movie has an underlying comedy theme but at the same time, really makes you think about a life where nothing could seem real and you should never trust what you see or hear. Carrey does an incredible job in this movie of convincing us that he is a different person all together. I think what really sets this movie aside is the acting, inside the acting. Carrey is playing a character, who was full of characters and different personalities. As you watch this movie, you start to question everything and realize what it would be like to be a person who questioned everything, everyday. A brilliant film that will leave you wanting more, man on the moon has to be one of my all time favourites.



4. The Prestige (2006)- This is a movie that keeps you guessing until the very end. Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman star in this film directed by mastermind Christopher Nolan (yes, the same man who brought you the Batman Begins and Dark Knight instant cult classics) What makes this movie so captivating is the ongoing rivalry between Jackman's and Bale's characters. Two magicians try to out perform one another in this movie and while the momentum switches back and forth between the characters, the movie takes you on twists and turns that makes you continuously wonder "who will get the last laugh?" Of all the movies I;m putting in this list, this one many people may have seen only because it was released after the Batman Begins movie, and people were hungry to see Bale in anything because of the quote/unquote instant star power you receive for portraying the "caped crusader." If you're looking for a mind bending trip, pick this movie up. You will not be disappointed.

3. One Week (2008)- This is a movie made right in our own backyard. Shot across the breathtaking landscapes in this glorious country, Joshua Jackson plays a terminally ill patient who begins to understand what life is all about. He is diagnosed with a rare type of cancer, with his odds of survival being slim, and his doctors urging him to start treatments immediately. But before he becomes a patient, Jackson takes life by the horns, purchases a motorcycle, and tours across Canada in the hopes of having his own adventure. Sometimes it takes a movie like One Week to bring us back to reality and make us realize how fragile life really is. Although I've never been a fan of Jackson, he pulls of a very convincing character who seems to start playing the cards he is dealt instead of folding every hand for fear of failing. The "narrator"in this movie also charms in with some very interesting asides and "stories from the road", making this Canadian inspired film a top shelf pick in my eyes. It asks the age old question, what would you do if you had one week to live, and the film helps put into perspective what one person tried to accomplish.

2. Barney's Version (2010)- Every once in awhile, a movie comes along where you just happen to be in the perfect mood to watch it. This happened when I watched this movie. I wanted to watch a movie that was unpredictable and one that lead me down a path only to quickly guide me down a side road that I never knew existed. Paul Giamatti turns out a brilliant performance in this movie, and I understand better why he won the golden globe for best actor last year with his portrayal of Barney Panofsky; a man who's life story covers his three marriages and the many ups, downs and curve balls life throws at us. This is the most recent movie on this list, and one of the more intelligent scripts I have seen in awhile. The movie dominates your mental capacity, keeping you awake, attentive and interested from beginning to end. The greatest gift this movie gives is the things in life we cannot control and on the reverse, those that we can. A brilliant comedy/drama (or dramedy as I like to coin them) that you need to see. And then own.

1. Little Miss Sunshine (2006)- A genius movie. In all aspects. A family that couldn't be more different travels across the country to get their youngest to a beauty pageant final that she has dreamed of winning. What the girl lacks in looks, she makes up for in winning charm. Along with Olive, we have a brother who aspires to be in the military, an award winning-on-suicide-watch homosexual uncle, a desperately over-bearing and over-the-top father, a drug addicted grandfather and a mother who seems to be lost in the shuffle on her life. It's a recipe for both comedic genius and a family unit that shows even the most odd ball and outcast family members can still pull together as one and embrace the obstacles placed in front of them. There are so many memorable lines and scenes in this movie that I can almost guarantee you'll want to watch it a second time the very moment it ends. Greg Kinnear and Steve Carell round out this low budget production built on high energy and an entire family who become the most unlikely of heroes. Personally, this movie taught me to not take life so seriously and that in the end, nothing lasts forever. What seems to be a big deal actually isn't and what matters at the time, won't matter anyway. You may not get that deep message out of it, but what you will get out of it is the urge to go out and purchase this piece of cinematic brilliance.

I hope you enjoyed the list and maybe even consider that some of these films are in fact worth a peek. Each of these films has a special way of captivating you while you watch it and I hope for you that these movies make you say, "I love that movie." After all, that was the whole point!

The randomness of it all

Today's Topic: Circumstance

I must have a comforting face that people recognize. It doesn't seem to matter where or when I go but the most random events and even more random people seem to find me, approach me and are willing to have a conversation with me. About anything. For example, yesterday a pregnant 30 something year old came up and started talking to me in a cafe while I was waiting for my food. She literally told me her life story. What's even more interesting is that I wasn't really planning on going into the cafe at all, it just sort of happened while I was waiting for someone. It brought me to a place of realization and that random circumstance and events seem to control my life. And if anything, it's made me realize two things.

The first thing is about trust. People often pressure people to trust themselves, put their trust in individuals and in other people. The world is only as scary as we make it out to be. It's not so much about our own perception, but about the trust we put into someones hand (I never truly realized that until recent, but that is another sitdown topic in its entirety) It's hard to open up to someone and let people in, but yet people will do it, time and again, based solely on trust alone. Trust is in every day situations. You trust that the person making you your coffee isn't going to put anything into it and on the flip side, the person making it trusts that you're going to enjoy it and pay for it. When you get into a cab, you're trusting that the driver will get you to your destination quickly and safely, and they trust that when you get there, you'll pay your bill. It really makes the world go round.

The second thing I realized is that random events happen every day and that you're not the only one who's happy, upset, depressed, confused, energetic, drunk, thoughtful or embarrassed. I'm not the only one who met a stranger at that exact moment, that exact location in that city. It happened somewhere else too. I began to think of the millions of cafe's around the world, the millions of people in them, and wondered if circumstance had led someone else to having the same conversation that I had with a person. Odds would say yes, that patterns and events leading up to moments makes you believe that. You're probably asking yourself at this point, who the hell thinks of this stuff anyway Donnie? I sometimes catch myself thinking the same thing.

I really believe that at some point in your life, everyone realizes how insignificant each one of us is on our own. That you will at some point give up on yourself and wonder why do it all anyway. Why does it even matter. You live and die. That's it. The in between in all of that is just humans walking around, eating and drinking. People spend their entire lives trying to plan for something and finding THE answer, when 99% of the time, it's staring them right in the face. Life is a mess, and people screw up. But I believe that it really is out of our control and we all do our best to interact and find happiness. Random circumstance makes me this way and life is an uncontrollable pattern of events that unravels one day at a time. The sooner you embrace that, the sooner you live.

Let's go crazy!

Today's Topic: Canada's Pastime

The stage was set. The ducks were in a line. The hype was loud. The fans were psyched. All the bars in downtown Vancouver had "Sorry, we're full"signs in their front window. Yes, the Vancouver Canucks seemed poised to take home Lord Stanley. It seemed like the perfect scripted story was going to have the happy ending. All the stats, the players, the coaches...everyone seemed optimistic. Without actually saying it, everyone felt it. The media covered it remarkably. The lead story most nights on CBC involved the Canucks. From the experience I had in this industry, it is a rare thing to be a positive story and be the lead night after night. One win would pull it all together and you could here the "I believe" slogan in the echos of the city.

On the other side of the coin, it was the story of the old boys club taking to the ice. A team hell bent on trade deadline day to put all the pieces of the puzzle together to build a championship contender. You had to give Boston a lot of credit. They stuck to their blueprint. I also bet a lot of fans watching the Stanley cup finals didn't recognize Tomas Kaberle with facial hair, since it seemed he never ever had any while he was in Toronto. But it was more about the team, the adversity and the game 7 wins that brought them to the most prestigious trophy in all of professional sports.

As I watched the days leading up to the final, I remember thinking what would happen if the Canucks lost. It seemed like everyone was still riding the wave of the Olympics and that Vancouver was the magical city where dreams came true for so many athletes. Watching Canada AM, they were interviewing sports psychologist to determine what goaltender Roberto Luongo had to do and how his mind set had to be in order for the Canucks to have the glorious victory they so desired. How close they were.

Most players on that team may never get that shot again. A game seven in the Stanley Cup finals seems to be a once in a lifetime experience. I still get chills when I think about players lifting the Stanley Cup, what runs through their mind when they finally hoist it over their heads, while the ghosts of past players surround the prize and the sacred feelings of it all. To actually touch the real thing. I don't think there would be a better feeling in sports and few sports trophies can rival the history that the cup has. True Story: In 1996, Mike Ricci of the Colorado Avalanche brought the Stanley Cup to a party. The Riley's attended this same party; a couple who had given up hope on having a child after trying for almost 14 years. That night on a whims and a prayer, Cheryl Riley kissed the cup for good luck. 9 months later, little Stanley C. Riley was born. Like I said, true story.

It's amazing in Canada how attached people get to hockey. It's literally like a drug and who among us can honestly say that they don't enjoy those simple little montages they play before or after every game. You get chills thinking about some of your favourite ones. But why do Canadians crave the sport more than any other country? Is it the thrill and love of the game, the past time of the backyard rink? Is it the entertainment and the fans that drive it's success? Is it the loud sounds of the crowds, the atmosphere of the rink? Or is it because of the grand prize? I think you could answer yes to all of these questions and maybe it's a little bit of everything but sometimes the obsession takes it to the next level.

The Vancouver riots blew my mind. The images were ridiculous. The reasoning just seemed illogical. Tipping over a car because someone let a puck in a net? Setting a car on fire because the hometown team never came out on top? Looting? Really? It was like a damned Apocalypse scene that you see in the movies. And everyone just stood by with jaws dropped. The wow factor. The "are they seriously doing that" looks. Yep, along with game 7, the Vancouver riots will also go down as a once in a lifetime thing. The question no one can seem to answer is why it all happened. I mean yes, there are thousands of opinions and for radio shows across the country, it was radio chat gold. Dig in and make wild accusations, make the biggest assumptions possible and point as many fingers as you can. Some say the NHL should take responsibility and claim the one million dollars in clean up expenses. Others say sock it to the cities taxpayers. Some would argue to bring the ones responsible to justice. It boggles my mind when I look at countries having riots over poorly run governments, war and famine and here we are throwing riots of rage because we lost a game. Now ask the question, is it more than just a game. Does it now become a political debate? Does the past time constitute as an enterprise needing it's own set of city laws and protocols? These are all valid questions and I don't even know the right answer. I do know that hockey does not justify the total thrashing of a downtown, but maybe it's our own fault for giving into the hype and temptation of the thought of winning the best trophy sports has to offer.

So to recap, that is Canada's favourite past time and that is what we cheer for; a silver cup lined with legendary names, a cup that has literally been through hell and back, has seen thousands of homes and has been touched by millions of people. Few get the quote "religious" privilege to hoist it over their head, a dream that almost every child growing up with a stick in his hand dreams of. It's a past time that is enjoyed by millions and a game that shows no mercy for the weak. Vancouver gave the country hope that it was time for Canada to take back the hockey reins and join in on the cup craze. But for now, and as they say in sports, there's always next year.

Waiting. The story of your life.

Today's Topic: Waiting


Do you ever sit and wonder what your life would be like if everything fell perfectly in to sync, just the way you wanted it to, 100% of the time? Life without boundaries or hurdles, no more lines or what seems like frozen time. You would be in complete control of your life, but, unfortunately, you're not and you never will be...and that sucks.

Perhaps it's the idea of waiting that drives us absolutely insane. Some call it fate, others call in randomness or coincidence. The only certainty in this world is that every time we wait, that leads us into a routine or some next phase of our day, unravelling our existence one passing minute at a time. I read an article in Maclean's magazine the other day about how much time the average commuter spends waiting in traffic. In Toronto alone, the average commuter spends an hour or more sitting in traffic, to and from work. That's 60 minutes a day. 60 minutes less to eat, sleep, be active, walk your dog, spend time with someone, read, watch television, have a beer...the list goes on. Now average that over a week. Over a month. And when averaged over a year, that is almost a month of a year spent waiting. In traffic. Absolutely staggering and mildly depressing. As much as I miss the city that I feel transformed me into the cultured individual I am today, that is one statistic I am happy not to be a part of.

If you added up all the time you wait over your lifetime, we are talking years of your life that are spent waiting for something to happen. You wake up, hopefully not having to wait to use the bathroom, hoping not to wait to use the toaster or oven or on those really cold winter mornings, waiting for your car to warm up. If you drive, you're waiting your turn at a stop sign, a traffic light, a pedestrian crossing or on some occasions, construction signs, school crossing guards or other vehicles on the road. How many times have you gotten into an accident or ran over something on the road, and you count up the seconds leading up to that moment and how things had to fall perfectly into place for that event to take place? Or was it the opposite; when you stopped only inches away from an accident, barely missing that person on the bike or running the light when it's yellow. If you don't drive, you're waiting for the bus, the train, the airplane, the subway or the crosswalk. The stops people make, the time they take to get on or off the bus, and then the factors that make them wait. For all those people who get Tim Hortons or breakfast or lunch from a restaurant, think of the minutes you wait in line, the time that ticks by while you wait to be "processed" from the other person on the till. Waiting for the debit machine to say "approved," waiting for the elevator door to close, waiting for a cab, waiting for a friend (who by the way always apologizes for MAKING you wait), waiting in a line to get into the club, wait for drink service and the classics of all waiting, the mother load of all manners; waiting for your turn. Yes we wait, and then wait some more. And after that, we wait. And while we wait, we are waiting to wait. Then there's the methods of "passing the time" as you wait; check your phone, people watch, read, listen to music or just twiddle your thumbs (literally). Do you notice how we always say, "Sorry I'm late." It's rarely "Oh, I was just late on purpose." Are we actually sorry that we are late and had to make someone late or exhausted? Do we really care or are we just programmed to say, "Sorry I'm late." That's a tough one, right?

Imagine again, after reading about just some of the ways that we wait, if everything just went your way and how time would move if we never ever waited. For anything. Those years that seem to fly by, the time that we never get back. The time that we waste every day on waiting for something to happen. Wouldn't it be incredible at the end of our life while we are waiting to die or when we do die, we would get all of the wait time that we have "banked" over the years and then have complete access to that extra time to do whatever we wanted WITHOUT having to wait? Pretty unique concept I know.

Waiting is a part of life, I get that. Maybe I'm just stating the obvious, but doesn't waiting suck? It sucks to wait. Yes, waiting controls our lives, simultaneously everyday to the hope that one day in which we exist in time, we live for the hope and dream that we don't have to wait. That everywhere we go, we could flash our VIP card and zoom through feeling like an important sort of person. I think at some point, one has to ask themselves if we, as a human race, could be a better living, better functioning society if we didn't have to sit around and wait for everything in our life. If instant recognition was possible, would the process still be enjoyable?

I think about all the things living and dead, and I look at lifespans of various things on our earth and our earth alone. There are so many things that we just won't outlive but there are things that we outlive everyday. The fly we just killed, the ant we squashed; superior to both. However, that oak tree that has been on that corner or in that forest for hundreds of years or that house, that museum or that lasting legacy of a piece of furniture or object from history; it has waited for a much longer period of time on this planet, but waiting for what?

What is it in life, in our existence, that we are waiting for? And if no one or no one thing is ever perfect, why do we wait? What are we waiting for? Is there something better? What is the answer? If you're going to realize one thing, realize this. There are so many things that we will never experience and it's all because we have to wait. As much as you may think you control your life and how it happens, we wait for life to happen. Every, single, day. Our patterns and routines are part of large scale sequence of a life clock somewhere that determines our existence. Our start and our end. We sing about waiting for the world to change, waiting on the wonderful, waiting for a loved one or just simply waiting to be loved. Is it hope that drives us to wait? Or is it fate?

In all aspects, we wait for a reason and a purpose. And while you sit there and wait, it just depends on who crosses the finish line first. Or last. However you look at it. Think of everyday as a race you are running. When you finally get to the end, then what? I hope you look forward to waiting tomorrow and then after that, waiting the next day. It's inevitable and unavoidable.

Choosing to Choose

Today's Topic: Choices

I want to take an opportunity to point something out. If you are reading this right now, you are functioning as a human. You have made a choice, for whatever reason, to visit the Sitdown page, probably while sitting down. Let me also say that you have made a good choice by deciding to read this week's post. But since you have chosen to sit down, chose to read, chose to go on the computer or phone in the first place, chosen to come to this site, you have made several choices in the last few minutes. Amazing, huh?

We all have the power to choose to be a success or a failure. They say (and more recently I have said quite a bit) that life is defined by moments. I have more so discovered that life is defined by choices. Every day, we make hundreds of choices. You have your general choices; what to eat, what to wear, what to do and where to go. Our brains function in a pattern of repetitive choices and we get so caught up in making choices all the time that we sometimes forget why we do the things we do. What makes us want a hamburger? Or a salad? How do we decide between the two? People will say "you just know". Hmmm, you sure about that? I'm really going to try to look deeper into this.

The human brain is an amazing thing, there is no doubt. A miracle that we can walk, and talk, laugh, make people laugh, and be laughed at. All choices. We get in our cars and drive, we need to close the door, turn on the AC or heat, roll down the windows or leave them up. Step on the gas or the brakes. Run the yellow light? Look at that hottie running. Shit, I need gas. This song is awesome. Turn up the volume. ALL MORE CHOICES. How do we do all this and not work our brain into overdrive? It's no wonder why we spend almost half of our life sleeping. It's no wonder we all die. We all just become exhausted! We do this same routine, every single day without fail because we have decided this is how we live.

Think about that concept for a second. You are a living specimen on this earth. A walking, talking, eating, choice maker that drinks, laughs, cries, plays, and drives. I think about how many choices we make even when we do something. Go to Starbucks, what coffee do I get, how do I order it, how much is it, what do I pay with, where do I stand to wait, how long will it take to get it. I absolutely realize we can't possibly think about every single choice we make. But one choice affects another. While I have sat here writing this, I've already thought about sex, how I'm hungry, what movie I should watch after this, and how many people will read this.

How do we know how to think? How do we decide? How?

Last night, I chose to drink alcohol. A lot of alcohol. I decided that I needed to let loose, finally just give in and make the choice to party hard. This is something I've done many times before and we have all done that at least once in our life. And if you haven't, honestly, get with it. Not because you need to party and get silly, not because it's the cool thing to do but because it's a part of life. And you have to, and I mean this, HAVE TO try new things. A club, a food, a mall, a trip, a pet, a new friend, a job. Get out and get with it.

I remember the first time I saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and I remember first of all thinking, what a great choice I had made to watch this movie. There's a part in the movie when Brad Pitt says it's never too late to be who want to be and do what you want to do. Without regret. I thought to myself....yes. It's that simple. I want to make great choices in my life and be happy at what I'm doing. I don't want to limit my choices. Ever. Even when I'm sick or even when I'm old. The most rewarding thing about life is that we all get the power to choose. My thanks go out to whoever created human existence. Why be mean? Why not choose to be happy? Why not choose to let loose? Why not choose to be nice to at least one person a day.

My parents bought me a picture that hangs up in my house. I call it the life tree picture and it describes, in the simplest of terms, how to live life. And every time I look at it, I think about the meanings in what it says and how to CHOOSE. Choosing to make a handshake mean more then a pen and paper and choosing to count your blessings and thank the powers that be. To look at what you have instead of what you don't have. To smile and to search for you purpose as best as you can. Awesome stuff.

The greatest documentary I have seen in awhile was called Lucky, a story about people who became overnight millionaires from playing the lottery. I thought about all the choices they would have had to make and all of the things that would have had to have gone perfectly, in a ideal scripted sort of way, in order for them to hit it big. The time they got the ticket, the people they passed gripping the same hope in a piece of paper with numbers, the store they went to and the complete RANDOMNESS of it all. The odds stacked against them and for some, choosing the numbers to play. And them comes the choice of what to do with all that money once you have it. Wow. Just wow.

Choosing to choose is the greatest gift of all. In some way, shape or form, I am absolutely floored with how the brain works and how we decide. It really just depends on like...so, many, things. Choices occur every second. Everywhere. What choice will you make next? Will it be a good one? Or a bad one? What will that choice lead to? How will your script go? I can tell you that this writer is amazed and baffled by it all. Thinking about choices has made me think twice about the choices I make everyday. Deeper thought processes that ignite conversation; it really is what life is all about.